Greetings. I am Woo Big. I was born in an art school video project gone horribly awry, and rose to unwanted notoriety following an unfortunate closeup of me in a glittery mask puckering my lips like a disco pegboy. I wish I was making this up but it's all so horribly true.

To escape my horrible checkered (and paislied) past I've fled to Korea where I live a secret life as an English teacher. Again, I can assure you, I'm not making this up...????... I can't promise that I'll never pull your leg, but I do promise that everything I say COULD be true if reality conformed to the rippling idiosyncrasies of my imagination. I also offer the tenuous guarantee that I am highly unlikely, at any time, in this web log or any other of my emissions (nocturnal or otherwise) to make any real sense. There is little likelihood of any regularity, pattern, or reliability emerging or becoming discernable by any means from within the muck that I am heretofore likely to spew.

Huh-huh... "horribly true" and "likely to spew" kinda rhyme...