Wheel Bugs and Eye-coo

Woo Big is drunk now. Drunk on special Korean plum wine. Maechwisun... sweet and sour, with a 14% undertow. One little bottle is all it took, because Woo Big does not drink like he used to. It used to be that only vast amounts of alcohol could sooth Woo Big's rampant insomnia... but now Woo Big has Extra Fantastic Girlfriend, who blows his mind and makes him sleep the sleep like lettuce.

Woo Big's girlfriend is 200 proof - we are secret cockroaches. When Koreans see an annoyingly cute couple, the kind with matching outfits, or that talk to each other in those cuddly-wuddly voices that are best confined to the apartment or other semi-private situations... like any other culture, Koreans find this pukogenic. They call such ignorant morons "Pakwi bollae", which is the Korean way to say "cockroaches".

I don't like vomit, and neither does Extra Fantastic Girlfriend... so we keep it on the down low, hushhush, incognito... Woo Big is conspicuous enough, being a honkytonk superhero, and Extra Fantastic Girlfriend also has a rough time avoiding a legion of stalkers... so we do the eye-coo. That's where you get to say all the boldly giddy romanticisms one's heart can muster, but conveyed through the secret language of the eyes. Only people who know eye-coo can understand it - like Zulu or HTML, so it is a pretty safe way to speak. And since each couple tends to have it's own dialect of eye-coo, secret cockroaches can eye-coo without fear of eavesdroppers... birds, for instance, show very little interest in cracking eye-coo.