Sweet shit, scam artistry and bloody murder...

I know I promised to tell you all about GoStop... well, in a nutshell, it seems it may have originated in Japan, and was originally called "Go Dori" (five birds), after one of the high-scoring hands that can spell a victory. Instead of the familiar four suits of 13 cards found in Western cards, this deck has 12 suits of 4 cards apiece. The suits are flora-based, though one has gotten the Korean name "Ddong" (turd) based on the turd-shaped black blob from which it's little blue or purple flowers grow. The most interesting card of this suit features the prerequisite life-giving turd, and in the background, what appears to be a flaming rooster or turkey flying out of the setting sun - a phoenix?

The cards are tiny, and made of some type of stiff plastic - much thicker and heavier than Western cards, and ideal for throwing one on top of another to produce a satisfying "Ddak" sound. The sound is so satisfying it is even mimicked in the popular on-line versions of the game played by many Koreans for virtual cash. Follow the link above to see one Western dude's interprestations of the rules. I'll refrain from trying to explain the rules here; you'll just have to swing by my place with some beer and cajole me into teaching you first hand.

One question that continues to nag at and puzzle me, what's with the deepset cultural phenomenon of the Korean fascination with turd? It appears in their games, in their childhood doodles, in their children's books, and in their folktales. Yeah, we have our Hankie the Christmas Poo, and children everywhere get guilty giggles out of mentioning or depicting their poopoo...
but a card game?

And then there's Kwon Jung-Seng's touching childhood tale, colorfully illustrated by Jung Seung-Gak, "Puppy Poo", which tells the story of a lonesome puppy-turd's enlightenment as to the meaning of life. I am not making this up. Then there's the deeply disturbing traditional tale of the sweet shit, scam artistry and bloody murder recorded as "Sweet Dung, the Cake-Tree, and the Bugle of Life" by Jung In-Sub in "Folk Tales From Korea". Who'da thunk a poor man finding a honeycomb while out cutting wood could result in a local nobleman blowing a bugle up the ass of his brutally slain wife?

I wonder if the omnipresent doo-doo has anything to do with the high concentration of farming (now in decline) on such a small amount of fertile land - most of Korea being mountains. Anyone who's smelled a rice paddy in mid-summer might back me up on this one. Wash those carrots reeeal good.

Now, just so I don't leave off with the wrong impression. I love it here. The fact that the adults share the childhood fascination with poo, especially in the form of a card game, tends to make my facetious self feel deeply at home. The love of drink and grilled meat tends to enhance this warm fuzziness.

Joweun Sullal Bonaessaw...

Woo Big is exhausted. Last weekend he met Extra Fantastic Girlfriend's mom for the first time, and had dinner with them and Extra Fantastic's two older sisters. The oldest sister's boyfriend, Shy Decent Fella, was there too. This occasion was made more singular by the fact that last weekend was also what Canadians know as "Chinese New Year". This holiday falls around the end of January or beginning of February, according to the new year on the lunar calendar. Koreans call the holiday "Sullal" and it is one of two major holidays one spends with one's family. Woo Big brought Mom a bottle of Shiraz, since it's hard to go wrong with Shiraz.

In Korea, the meeting of a girl's family tends to be a big deal. This didn't worry me so much, the heaviness of it. I could deal with that, since I've got long plans for her. I was however, frightfully nervous that I would say or do something that would come off wrong. Woo Big's Korean is as yet in its infancy, and the chances of misconstruction, or dipping rice in the soup, were immense. Woo Big has never in his life been so worried about making the right impression.

Woo Big pulled it off... Extra Fantastic's oldest sister, Funny Sister, kept asking Woo Big questions in Konglish. She is a Konglish genius. Finally she asked if I had any questions for them. I asked the middle sister, Pretty Sister, why she always crops her face out of the frame when she posts photos for her online fashion business. This prompted some teasing from Pretty Sister's siblings about her skinny body and big head. Woo Big told her, "Mawriga ankaw... yepbawyo" meaning I don't think she has a big head at all and that she is pretty. This coming from a foreigner with a narrow cranium prompted sidesplitting laughter from the entire family and made Woo Big a lot less nervous.

That same night Woo Big's coworker and neighbor, Giddy Mamacita, had a party planned at our place, so Extra Fantastic and I bid the family farewell and rushed off to prepare for the occasion. Unfortunately, Big and Fantastic were trapped for hours in one room by a Christian couple, while the rest of the party raged on elsewhere. As I politely tried to explain why I will never be a Christian, the raging chaos finally spilled over and mercifully aborted the attempted conversion.

The next evening, Extra Fantastic's sisters and Shy Decent Fella came over for Go Stop with Big, Fantastic and Giddy. What is Go Stop, you ask? To be continued...