The Return of Woo
Woo is back. Where did Woo go? you ask me... who the hell do you think Woo are? you say... and rightfully so... Woo have been gone too long. Three months and change... Woo are embarrassed. Woo's ass is bare largely because Woo like to write fresh out of the shower.
The World Cup is nearly done... Woo never cared about soccer or any other sport for that matter, but being in Korea during the world cup, one has to notice SOMETHING is going on.
I watched a few games with Extra Fantastic and her family... it was enlightening. Soccer is understandably obsessed with balls, as is baseball. Both sports keep official tallies of the amount of balls in the game.
In soccer, each team is rated in terms of it's Ball Possession. Ball possession is a very desirable trait in soccer, as the more you possess balls, the more likely you are to win, naturally.
Soccer has much more balls than baseball. In baseball it's better to have the runs than it is to have balls, but a lot of people including Woo's self would much rather have balls than get the runs.
So what have Woo been doing? Woo have been working his ass off and studying Hangoogmal. What is Hangoogmal? It's the one and only official language of Dayhanmingook. All you soccer fans probably know that means "Korea" in "Korean", which is the English word for Hangoogmal.
It's an interesting language. If the novice isn't careful they may believe they are drinking a car, or eating their own belly, or a ship. A ship's belly is called a hull in English, but that word in Korean means "I can't believe you just said that. You're such a knob." If you have a pal on your ship with you, a shipmate, you might call him your ship pal, but if your pal is Korean I wouldn't advise it. It means "18" in Sino-Korean, which seems innocuous enough, but it is an inexplicaply vile epithet.
I learned all of these things years ago, and am now on to bigger and better things, like basic grammar. I logged on to a website to take the Korean Language Proficiency Test (HangoogawNeungnokSheehum)... but it was all in Korean. It seems I'll have to study a few weeks just to REGISTER for the test... At this point I'm a little nervous.
Do you know what makes me the most nervous? Listening tests. I've been doing a little practice with the "Jjikjjiggee" (Sony Walkman). Luckily I can replay the same phrase over and over again 15 times and even slow it down to one fifth the regular speed until the AK47 syllables become semicomprehensible... but I wonder if the test administrators are likely to extend a similar favour to the room on the day of the test.
One thing I must say is this experience has humbled me as an English teacher. I used to get a giggle out of English listening excercises, and still do...
Girl: What are those?
Boy: They're balls.
*The above is an excerpt from an actual English listening excercise audio transcript, used entirely without permission.
Another example:
Boy: Is this a chair?
I can only assume this poor bastard is in a fluffy design class at a froofy art school, where "students are encouraged to explore form over function"...
Anyway, now I have to temper my amusement with new understanding. When my Korean friends speak Korean to me they tend to dumb it down a bit for me so I can catch everything. When it comes to trying to communicate with strangers or people with no knowledge of English, I'm still largely screwed.
For anyone who has tried to learn a second language, this is probably all familiar ground. This is my second such experience... in junior highschool I was "immersed" in French. David Sedaris's "Me Talk Pretty One Day" has a hilariously well-written account of foreigners studying in Paris, which I highly recommend.
Au subjet d'apprendre le Fran?ais... I occasionally teach my students a few phrases in French just to switch gears and mess with their little minds... and the reactions are invariably interesting. The phrase, "Mer?i beaucoup" sounds like "myulchi bokkeum" to Koreans, which I believe roughly translates to "Dried minnow stirfry".
Myulchi is tasty in rice. And it's got calcium, don'tcha know. And black beans make your hair grow.
The World Cup is nearly done... Woo never cared about soccer or any other sport for that matter, but being in Korea during the world cup, one has to notice SOMETHING is going on.
I watched a few games with Extra Fantastic and her family... it was enlightening. Soccer is understandably obsessed with balls, as is baseball. Both sports keep official tallies of the amount of balls in the game.
In soccer, each team is rated in terms of it's Ball Possession. Ball possession is a very desirable trait in soccer, as the more you possess balls, the more likely you are to win, naturally.
Soccer has much more balls than baseball. In baseball it's better to have the runs than it is to have balls, but a lot of people including Woo's self would much rather have balls than get the runs.
So what have Woo been doing? Woo have been working his ass off and studying Hangoogmal. What is Hangoogmal? It's the one and only official language of Dayhanmingook. All you soccer fans probably know that means "Korea" in "Korean", which is the English word for Hangoogmal.It's an interesting language. If the novice isn't careful they may believe they are drinking a car, or eating their own belly, or a ship. A ship's belly is called a hull in English, but that word in Korean means "I can't believe you just said that. You're such a knob." If you have a pal on your ship with you, a shipmate, you might call him your ship pal, but if your pal is Korean I wouldn't advise it. It means "18" in Sino-Korean, which seems innocuous enough, but it is an inexplicaply vile epithet.
I learned all of these things years ago, and am now on to bigger and better things, like basic grammar. I logged on to a website to take the Korean Language Proficiency Test (HangoogawNeungnokSheehum)... but it was all in Korean. It seems I'll have to study a few weeks just to REGISTER for the test... At this point I'm a little nervous.
Do you know what makes me the most nervous? Listening tests. I've been doing a little practice with the "Jjikjjiggee" (Sony Walkman). Luckily I can replay the same phrase over and over again 15 times and even slow it down to one fifth the regular speed until the AK47 syllables become semicomprehensible... but I wonder if the test administrators are likely to extend a similar favour to the room on the day of the test.
One thing I must say is this experience has humbled me as an English teacher. I used to get a giggle out of English listening excercises, and still do...
Girl: What are those?
Boy: They're balls.
*The above is an excerpt from an actual English listening excercise audio transcript, used entirely without permission.
Another example:
Boy: Is this a chair?
I can only assume this poor bastard is in a fluffy design class at a froofy art school, where "students are encouraged to explore form over function"...
Anyway, now I have to temper my amusement with new understanding. When my Korean friends speak Korean to me they tend to dumb it down a bit for me so I can catch everything. When it comes to trying to communicate with strangers or people with no knowledge of English, I'm still largely screwed.
For anyone who has tried to learn a second language, this is probably all familiar ground. This is my second such experience... in junior highschool I was "immersed" in French. David Sedaris's "Me Talk Pretty One Day" has a hilariously well-written account of foreigners studying in Paris, which I highly recommend.
Au subjet d'apprendre le Fran?ais... I occasionally teach my students a few phrases in French just to switch gears and mess with their little minds... and the reactions are invariably interesting. The phrase, "Mer?i beaucoup" sounds like "myulchi bokkeum" to Koreans, which I believe roughly translates to "Dried minnow stirfry".
Myulchi is tasty in rice. And it's got calcium, don'tcha know. And black beans make your hair grow.
posted by Mr. Matthews at 12:28 PM
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