Soup
What a delightful weekend... sunshine and screamin' cicadas... I'm so @#$%^&' happy my face is melting...
Saturday morning I awoke to some cussin' and hissy fittin' down the hall... and discovered that my neighbors were having their first encounter with this building's little drainage issue. It seems the design of the laundry area drainage system is flawed in such a way that once or twice a year the whole thing backs up, creating an indoor lake which begins snaking its way down the corridor...
One factor making this year's occurrance of the problem so priceless is that it occurred within hours of our bosses, who are also our landlords, hurtling through the air at approximately 260 meters per second to the other side of the Pacific Ocean; they won't be back for another three weeks.
Further, an additional phenomena I had heretofor not experienced was taking place right outside the main entrance in front of my apartment. It seems the drainage had been further buggered to the point that the sewer was backing up, creating a rather undelightfully rank stew in our stairwell.
By Saturday night this stew had grown big enough to choke a hippo, neccessitating some rather graceful acrobatics in exiting and entering the building. I laid down a makeshift bridge accross the morass from a couple of 4 by 6's and emailed the bossman.
Sunday morning I awoke to the sounds of the wetvac as my neighbors valiantly battled the indoor lake, which had grown considerably, and went on to tackle the ill tide outside my door. I was on the one hand grateful it was them, not me, and on the other hand regretting my proximity to the most malodorous part of the catastrophe, as the invisible cloud of reek hovering above the mess invited itself into my home. I gingerly rinsed myself in the shower, using as little water as possible, and vacated the premises. I noted on my way out that the best efforts of the neighbors, while temporarily alleviating the indoor lake, had done little to diminish the reeking pit of misfortune in the entranceway.
I sent another email and prayed for the arrival of the shittruck.
This morning it was evident someone had seen fit to give the laundry another go, or take a lengthy shower, or both, as the lake had apparently returned full force and been subsequently mopped up again. I myself hazily recall getting up at the crack of dawn to piss, which in my semi-slumber I of course flushed, and I'm sure that didn't help...
The secretary was in the hall trying to salvage the contents of a cardboard box which had soaked up part of the surf. She assured me the boss had called and the shittruck was on its merry way, entreating me to hold off on the shit, shower and shave.
The sound of voices and activity outside my door shortly thereafter was soon accompanied by a renewed stenchwave, signalling that the cacacavalry had indeed arrived. An hour or so of choking and gagging eye-watering misery later, it was all over... I hope.
Now I get to go to work... happy glorious Monday...
Meanwhile, some weekend news tidbits:
Philip notes the five individuals arrested by police were black, while a white man who allegedly videotaped the incident wasn't.
"Does what we say really matter to them? It's what Warren Jeffs says that matters, and if he says marry a 16-year-old, then they are going to do that."
Dan uses the T-word
Afghans welcome Koreans... just leave the poor bastards alone...
Saturday morning I awoke to some cussin' and hissy fittin' down the hall... and discovered that my neighbors were having their first encounter with this building's little drainage issue. It seems the design of the laundry area drainage system is flawed in such a way that once or twice a year the whole thing backs up, creating an indoor lake which begins snaking its way down the corridor...
One factor making this year's occurrance of the problem so priceless is that it occurred within hours of our bosses, who are also our landlords, hurtling through the air at approximately 260 meters per second to the other side of the Pacific Ocean; they won't be back for another three weeks.
Further, an additional phenomena I had heretofor not experienced was taking place right outside the main entrance in front of my apartment. It seems the drainage had been further buggered to the point that the sewer was backing up, creating a rather undelightfully rank stew in our stairwell.
By Saturday night this stew had grown big enough to choke a hippo, neccessitating some rather graceful acrobatics in exiting and entering the building. I laid down a makeshift bridge accross the morass from a couple of 4 by 6's and emailed the bossman.
Sunday morning I awoke to the sounds of the wetvac as my neighbors valiantly battled the indoor lake, which had grown considerably, and went on to tackle the ill tide outside my door. I was on the one hand grateful it was them, not me, and on the other hand regretting my proximity to the most malodorous part of the catastrophe, as the invisible cloud of reek hovering above the mess invited itself into my home. I gingerly rinsed myself in the shower, using as little water as possible, and vacated the premises. I noted on my way out that the best efforts of the neighbors, while temporarily alleviating the indoor lake, had done little to diminish the reeking pit of misfortune in the entranceway.
I sent another email and prayed for the arrival of the shittruck.
This morning it was evident someone had seen fit to give the laundry another go, or take a lengthy shower, or both, as the lake had apparently returned full force and been subsequently mopped up again. I myself hazily recall getting up at the crack of dawn to piss, which in my semi-slumber I of course flushed, and I'm sure that didn't help...
The secretary was in the hall trying to salvage the contents of a cardboard box which had soaked up part of the surf. She assured me the boss had called and the shittruck was on its merry way, entreating me to hold off on the shit, shower and shave.
The sound of voices and activity outside my door shortly thereafter was soon accompanied by a renewed stenchwave, signalling that the cacacavalry had indeed arrived. An hour or so of choking and gagging eye-watering misery later, it was all over... I hope.
Now I get to go to work... happy glorious Monday...
Meanwhile, some weekend news tidbits:
Philip notes the five individuals arrested by police were black, while a white man who allegedly videotaped the incident wasn't.
"Does what we say really matter to them? It's what Warren Jeffs says that matters, and if he says marry a 16-year-old, then they are going to do that."
Dan uses the T-word
Afghans welcome Koreans... just leave the poor bastards alone...
posted by Mr. Matthews at 12:57 AM
1 comments
